Your future self is not another person

We often find ourselves doing this. We craft elaborate plans for the future, meticulously detailing every aspect of what lies ahead, all in the name of becoming better versions of ourselves. "I’ll go to the gym more," or "I’ll eat healthier meals," or "I’ll pick up a new hobby and stick with it for more than two weeks." It all seems so logical. We want to grow, to improve, and perhaps to fill a void within us; a yearning we hope to satisfy by becoming something greater than who we are today.

But these grand plans come at a cost: they burden our future selves. And oh boy, your future self hates you for it. 

We tend to pile expectations onto the person we’ll be tomorrow. "In the future, I’ll eat more vegetables, prepare healthier meals, go to the gym regularly, and still manage all my household chores while excelling at work." We convince ourselves that this time will be different—that we’ll have the discipline and motivation to achieve it all, unlike the countless times we’ve tried before.

I believe we should be kinder to our future selves. These kinds of plans rarely succeed. They are extravagant, overly optimistic, and fall victim to a common pitfall: we constantly add new tasks without letting go of old ones. We rarely consider giving up things we already value, like spending time with friends, watching our favorite movies, or indulging in the latest binge-worthy series. Instead, we pile these goals onto an already crowded plate, hoping it will somehow work. 

But it doesn’t. It never does. We don’t allow ourselves the breathing room to make these changes, and often, life’s demands – family obligations, work, and other commitments – leave little space for anything extra. And like it or not, you want to watch Squid Game even though the gym is only five minutes away. 

To make real progress, we must recognise that change isn’t about offloading resolutions to a future version of ourselves. It’s about confronting the reality that the person responsible for these choices is the one reading this right now. Your future self is you, unfortunately.